Monday, March 28, 2016

Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

Women must do everything twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not hard.

Beautiful lingerie is like higher education - you cannot see it, but it raises self-esteem!



Birthday flowers

-My love. Please, here are flowers for your birthday.
-Oh, thank you so much.
-And here is your change.

I have been so poor that I didn´t know where my next husband was coming from

Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman

I have an excellent husband. What worries me is who has trained him so well.

Dear Santa Claus! Please bring me this Christmas a big bundle of notes and a thin waistline. I'm afraid that the last Christmas you mixed these with each other.


One of the important things in life is the decisions when to start being middle aged

I am not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.

We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him also.

A man often falls in love with the woman who asks questions he is able to answer.

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to understand this.

A woman´s guess is much more accurate than a man´s certainty.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.


Men never learn anything about women, but they have a lot of fun trying.

Most accidents occur at home. Men use this as an excuse to stay out late.

I just want him to call so I can tell him I never want to see him again.



Going to a male gynecologist is like going to a mechanic not owning his own car.



There are two periods when a man does not understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.



The man who thinks he has no faults has at least one.



A man who guesses right a woman´s age may be smart, but he is not very brigh



Women make fools of some men, others are the do it yourself types.



All husbands are alike they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.



If men liked shopping, they would call it research.

What is the difference between men´s real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are better.



I love the male body; it is better designed than the male mind


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I used to live alone, and then I got a divorce.



I married beneath me, every woman does.



There is so little difference between husbands you may as well keep the first.



My husband said he needed more space, so I locked him outside.